Wow yes, I am having an incredible time, but it is still life. In last night’s debrief we were asked to describe our week as food. We had mashed potatoes, boiled peanuts, and tiramisu as some of the answers and mine was chili. It might sound like I had a good week to some people, but if you know me, I pretty much loathe chili. So in short my week was messy, and full of a lot of pretty gross stuff that I didn’t like. I added there was probably the classic cinnamon roll served on the side, because there were some sweet parts to it.
I love my people, I love our days, I love my time with God, but it was just one of those weeks. I just kept repeating to myself that my God is Yaweh Yireh “the lord will provide”, that is my favorite name of God right now. I have given up so many material and emotional comforts in these last few weeks. It is hitting pretty hard right now. I love my tent, but I am constantly nagged at not being able to know if I am the unsettling smell that is filling the room. I don’t like having damp clothes, I have not been able to feel God as much lately (definitely the most frustrating of all), I am shying away from leaning into my community, instead feeling like I always need alone time (which is such a rare thing here). But our God is a God of comfort and he will provide. ENOUGH has been my word for some time now, I am enough for him, I don’t need to bring anything more or less for him to embrace me with open arms, and he is ENOUGH for me. I don’t need this world, I don’t need to be comfortable, I don’t need other people, I don’t need any of the extra amazing things he has for me. I just need him. And if he chooses to speak to me, to bless me with amazing friends, amazing opportunity to minister and serve others for his glory, for a place to sleep and food to eat for the day, well I’ll just say THANKS GOD!
This week wasn’t great, and who knows about this next one, all I can control I what I give to the Lord, and how much of myself I give to him and trust him with. All of the great wisdom I learned about the Holy Spirit, miracles, hearing God’s voice, and grief this week I still need to take in and take to God and ask what he wants me to take from those talks.
For now I wanted to share more wisdom from my great friends. Like I said, a great comfort that I have had lately is remembering I don’t need anything but God, cause he’s got me. Yahweh Yireh- the lord will provide. I asked some squadmate’s what their favorite name of God is right now and what it means to them. And this is what they said-
Abba “Father”
ABBA. God as father. He’s not distant, he doesn’t leave us, He is close. He cares about my heart and my desires and He provides for me. He’s a really good dad and is teaching me what that means. -Mary
Yeshua “To rescue” “to deliver”
The name yeshua makes Jesus personal to me. It is mentioned many times in the Biblical Aramaic/Hebrew Bible. I first heard it in a play called “Jesus”. In the play, Jesus is portrayed as this funny, care free, lovable guy. -Abi grace
El Olam “Everlasting God”
God always was and always will be. He has no limits. He will never end. He is unchanging. His grace, His forgiveness and His love will never end:)-Madeline
Jehovah shalom“The Lord of Peace”
I can be rested and peaceful in His presence-Emma
Jehovah Shammah “God is there”
This just reminds me that the Lord is within every situation whether I am there or not. When I think about my family or situations I cannot control, the Lord just reminds me that He is there and caring for it. -Sam
Adonai “Lord”
Adonai is the plural form of Lord in Hebrew. To me, it describes the power of the Father, and the wonder of the holy trinity. -Annie
Jehovah Jireh “Provider”
How sweet of the Lord to know what we need and love us so much to want to provide for us. He cares for us so well by never leaving us lacking. He gives us what we need for when we need it. -Leanna
Jesus
It’s so amazing to just marvel in the fact that the name of Jesus has power. Like what in the world how does just a word have genuine literal power?? idk its just so cool like WOAH -Clayton
El Roi “The God who sees”
Its a great reminder to know that the Lord sees me over anyone else. The fact that He thought of the idea of stars and mountains and I’m still His favorite creation blows my mind. The actual king of everything sees ME!! Little ME!!! -Hannah
Yahweh Yireh “The lord will provide”
We are always safe and fulfilled because of him. With some of my common comforts like a bed, bathroom, and running water stripped from me recently I am learning what it is to live a life of abundance from all that God provides and nothing worldly. -Me
I encourage you to do some research and find a favorite name of God for the season you are in. The ones above are amazing, as well as some of the ones below. There are many more out there as well. To a better week for all of us.
Blessings, Alex
Jehova Ezer “True helper”
El Shaddai “God almighty”
El Ohim “God”
Yaweh “The lord”
El Elyon “God most high”
Yahweh Nissi “The lord is my banner”
Jehovah Rapha “The lord who heals you”
Yahweh Shalom “The lord is peace”
Wonderful reflections! Always good to know that our feelings and emotions are valid, wherever they’re at (just look at the Psalms), but as with all of our relationships we don’t have to base intimacy on feelings alone. Keep leaning into him – he is enough! Thanks for sharing this
Thank you for your vulnerability Alex. It takes a lot to share when life isn’t all roses & ice cream. (I coined that phrase??) You are doing exactly as God calls you to do when things are not going well; you’re reaching out, searching & being stretched even though it’s painful. You could easily give up & go home but He has a path for you right now in Gainesville. Praying for you on this journey.
-Momma Aims
P.S. Love the list of names you shared! You are surrounded by great people, just like you!
Oh Alex,
I just want to hold you close and make it all better. God gave you your team to do just that. They are his hands and feet to share your burdens (and joys!). Lean into God hard and find Him in your solitude during this sabbath.
Praying for strength and hope to fill your heart <3
Annie’s Mom
My sweet girl, sorry things have been difficult lately. We both know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. God is refining you, Making you more and more into the image of Jesus. I have found God has a sweet way of cycling friends through the hills and valleys. When you are in a valley Others areat a High Point where they can help lift you up and carry your burden. At other times you will be at a High Point and God will allow you to help there’s someone else’s burdens. Continue to lean in to God and your team! You are in my prayers! Love you more than I could ever express!!!
So proud of you. I know you know God is with you, keep leaning on Him especially when things are tough. Sometimes it certainly does not feel like HE’s there but He is. Love you, Shawnae ??