God I give all my anxiety and frustration to you.
How often do we say things and not mean it? How much of the time do we pray and really mean what we say, especially when we’re praying out loud to a group? Do we go through the motions? Is it shameful to follow a template just so you don’t? Lately, I have had some amazing conversations and reminders about being genuine, especially when talking to God. He fully knows our hearts anyway so why sugar coat our thoughts? Everything from following the endless prayers of Daniel in the bible, his way of repeatedly praying for who God is (worship), where he is at (confession), and about the people/ things he knows need prayer. Being vulnerable and honest with the Lord is needed, and can sometimes keep me from drifting off in my own thoughts to be honest.
My shirt fundraiser (available to buy until the 21st of December;) revolves around the phrase, God is greater than my highs and lows. This is 100% true, but you’d think I would believe it fully, considering I try to live by that nowadays, essentially adapting it as a personal motto. Turns out, I’m not as bulletproof as I often believe. When it comes to fundraising it’s been unbelievably difficult, and not to mention, constantly on my mind, no joke. Despite this, I’ve done an alright job of keeping my head up. But man, when one thing went wrong tonight, I let fear, frustration, and worry get the best of me with no hesitation. I gave myself no time to praise God for his goodness and all the things that went right before I lied face up on the hardwood floor of my kitchen, with my hands over my face and legs sprawled out, holding back tears for a solid 4 minutes. I let myself suck in all the disaster and nasty thoughts this world has just been waiting in line to present itself fully to me.
I reached out to my squad mates, sharing my disappointment and anxiety about the dilemma and I was immediately reminded that God is greater than my ups and downs. Coincidence? I think not. Although no one said these words, the encouragement that fundraising is about people supporting my journey, choosing to share their love for me and this mission rather than the materialistic benefits said it all. I am BLESSED to be a part of this, it is my PLEASURE to invite people into the opportunity to help the gospel be spread, I will PRAISE our great God for amazingly supportive friends and family. There is no doubt I will have roadblocks and more trials that will leave me in tears texting my best friend in all caps throughout this year. This fundraising process, colleges application and acceptance process, senior year and LIFE. Despite this I will be genuine with my great father, worship him, confess to him, pray for others and be GRATEFUL for who I am, who he is, and who’s around me.
God I give all my anxiety and frustration to you, you are greater.
PS if you’re on my squad thank you for already being my best friends.
Beautifully said and what a great reminder of who God is, ALL THE TIME! He IS greater than our highs and lows. So hard to remember this in the midst of crisis, hardship and when things just aren’t going our way. But Truth is just that, Truth! He was and is and always will be GREATER. Thanks for the beautiful reminder, Alex 🙂
I love you much already and am praying for you!!!
Beautiful reminder precious. I still love the design.
It is so awesome to be stepping out in vulnerability! The Lord sees that and calls it GOOD. He is faithful always and I love that he is teaching you that and will continue teaching you more of his character and faithfulness not just in the next 9 months, but through out the rest of your life.