transitions and final farewells

I have been wrestling about how to write a last blog since before I have been home. The first marked 1 month since I got on a plane back to Colorado and saw the last of my Gap F family on the official race. As I have moved “write blog” from one daily to-do list to the next, I still haven’t had all the words I want to make a final, grand, blog post. But of course, this last update doesn’t mark the last time God will be working in my life. I may not post about my daily ministry or random God moments, but they will still be happening.

I am 4 weeks into the 8 I have of summer. I will once again pack up my backpack and adventure back into the wilderness with my tent and sleeping pad on August 4th… this time only for two weeks. I am going with a few hundred other Wheaton College Freshman in nature to spend time with God and start off with healthy community before classes start. In the meantime however, I have spent many hours in the word, at work, watching Netflix, mowing the lawn, on planes, and enjoying summer. Of course I have been asked the question “is it weird to be back?” More times than I can count, and more often than not my answer is the same.

Not really.

It’s home.

To be honest I had a lot of time to process the race coming to an end during the last month. I prayed over the transition home for months. Other people prayed over my transition home for months. I have transitioned between the USA and Latin America more times than I can count during my life. Between all of these factors I got to accept the peace of God on my heart. I got to allow myself to sit in answered prayers. I got to thank God for my experience and perspective. Now of course, it’s not like the race never happened. A lot has changed. God has completely transformed my heart, he has been working here at home for the last nine months as well, and its been hard in a way I never would have expected. 

I didn’t get “culture shock” in the traditional sense. I wasn’t taken aback by everyone speaking English, or the food, or driving again. When talking to my squamate the other day, she put words to feelings I hadn’t been able to express yet. It was less culture shock from Latin America, and more culture shock from the World Race. To be honest, it took a little bit to readjust to the normalcy of cussing, impatience, pride, the American Church, and materialism. Many cultural norms were so broken down during the race. Some of us took days, weeks, or months repenting from sins we had been so stuck in for years, or most of our lives. Since invited in Jesus to completely change my heart, it impossible to “get used to” these things again. 

I don’t want to get used to them.

At first I let the enemy come in and tell me it was pride that was keeping me from letting these habits be my norm again. Then I let Jesus tell me the truth. That he came in and transformed my heart when I asked, therefore I no longer will love the things of the world, and just the same, they will hate me too. It’s his promise, and I thank him for it because my treasure is so much greater than “looking cool” when I cuss, or buying another sweater to fit in. 

So yea, it’s not weird to be back, but it’s hard in an unexpected way.

I am glad to be back, and as the summer speeds by, I am learning to be present when God has put such exciting things so close in my future. I do miss my squad and the next level community, so prayers against loneliness are always greatly appreciated! And prayers for my squad as well, as each person is struggling with transition in a different way. 

Before I wrap up I wanted to share a list I made throughout the race of a word that represented each month as they came along. 

1 enough 

2 comforter

3 provider

4 abide 

5 transparency 

6 patience

7 celebrate

8 answered

9 grace

So bye for now! Thank you for following along. All the support, financially and through prayer, and always feel free to reach out with prayer requests or just to connect. Happy 4th!

Blessings, 

Alex