bittersweet moments

Man oh man, you can relate right? We’ve all experienced bittersweet things. Even Jesus did, today being a great example. I’m sure Palm Sunday was one of the most bittersweet moments there ever was. As Jesus was riding on the donkey down the streets, he had countless people crying out “Hosanna” and rejoicing in his name. All the while, Jesus knew that less than a week later, countless people would again be surrounding him, but instead they would be crying out insults and crucifying him. He heard the shouts of joy, he felt the weight of sin, and he knew that he would rise again, all at once, talk about bittersweet. Although these past couple of weeks could not compare to that day, they have been more bittersweet for me than any other time in my life. I have never, ever, experienced such a bittersweet season as this. On March 11th at 8am, the 22 of us racers lugged our big packs in the bottom of the bus and hopped on. Rasta (our old host) prayed for us, and we headed off to our week long debrief at La Montana Christian Camp, near San Jose, Costa Rica. We drove for a little under 6 hours, leaving our family of the past two months and the place we called home. People and a place that saw us weep, heard our aspirations, watched us struggle, was steadfast with us in our questioning, and celebrated with us in our victories. The best 2 months of my life, for real. As I teared up on the drive to debrief, dwelling in the hard reality that I may not ever see some of these people I consider my best friends again, I asked God. As I wrote out all the moments I could recall in Costa Rica on sticky notes during a processing session, I asked God. As I sat staring at the mountains for hours with a million thoughts of confusion and uncertainty, I just asked God, why? 

Let me tell you what He reminded me of. 

-Alex your daily prayer for me since the day the race started was “Lord deepen my capacity to love others like you love them”. That is what I have done. That’s why it hurts, you love hard, you grieve hard.

-I have promised you that greater things are yet to come. I promised you that, when you felt it wasn’t possible. I was good on my promise, and that promise still stands.

-You say you could stay here forever. That you fell in love with this place. You don’t want to leave because you feel there is still so much more here. 

It’s because you want to stay with me forever. It’s because you fell in love with me in this place. You don’t want to leave me behind, but I’m not going anywhere and yes I still have so much for you.

I loved falling in love with the Lord, but the good news is, nothing is stopping me from doing that over and over again every day. Not in the Dominican Republic, not in Windsor, Colorado, not in Wheaton, Illinois. I just have to step into the Lord’s promises and he will be good on fulfilling them. So as I left the place I can now call home, I made sure to let my Costa Rican family know that I love them, I made sure to continue praying for all the communities I stepped foot in, and I made sure to take plenty of pictures of my favorite foods so that I would not forget. I will continue to grieve an incredible season, but I will open my heart up for the next. A season I know will be full of lessons, growth, new relationships, and laughter. So thanks God for that assurance, and the gift of bittersweet moments.

So yes! We made it to the Dominican Republic! I will give an overview of what day to day ministry looks like soon, but in the meantime, praise the Lord for safe travels. Also, if I get spurts of wifi or service I like to update on my instagram stories (@alexfaithh) with pictures and videos I have taken, because it’s pretty easy to upload things quickly on there- so go check that out! I have taken I will be here until I arrive back in Colorado June 1st, I’m sure the time will fly by, thank you for following along!

Blessings, Alex:)